tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-207062632012-02-16T07:48:28.970-06:002005-2009 <i>I share a residential house with six fellow recovering alcoholics. I don't know if I'm serious, if this is another survival ploy of mine (as I have been a besotted, truant media-hermit for 25 years), or what. I am thankful and sober. I work part-time and enjoy my food, sleep, music, internet and friendships immensely.</i> 2010: RelapsedJacksonnoreply@blogger.comBlogger2841100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-13306409512471647752012-01-27T16:27:00.001-06:002012-01-27T16:27:57.402-06:00

Posting just to assure myself that this web-log won't disappear.

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-58441752697909667922008-10-12T17:04:00.007-05:002008-10-12T19:23:18.306-05:00

Listening to Live365.com 's "Homefront Radio" station ---which has a wry slogan 'World War Two for the World War Three generation'---I discovered that some of the childrens' late afternoon, 15 minute long radio serials were very good. Terry And The Pirates, in particular, had terrific story-lines, acting, and production values. You can find mp3 files here, at the stupendous Archive.org

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-28654302472499000192008-10-12T13:14:00.004-05:002010-02-12T18:10:04.021-06:00

And drunk.“I was in love once. I’m sure of it.” “Yes, I believe you were,” the Miss Kitty patted my fore-arm. “I know. Because you know why?” “Why, honey?” “Cuz it hasn’t happened since.”

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-85736556795727713912008-08-29T13:22:00.003-05:002008-08-29T13:50:43.103-05:00

So queer this morning.I was in a self-talk /committee dream, where we'd all come to some morale boosting consensus to cooperate together, me myself and I and numerous demons, and then my cellphone alarm clock went off.So it was like: here's the test right now. Who's going to get the phone, then?I knew immediately this was going to be embarrassing and I didn't want to allow that. Eyes would dart,

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-40656116776940246052008-07-22T20:02:00.006-05:002008-12-11T23:05:44.951-06:00

My friends' perpetually surprised, seven months old Golden Retriever.I'm just back from two weeks house and puppy sitting. Tippy is very good. It was an ordeal though, I'll probably remember fondly and falsely.Now it's nice to be home.The dog was always seeing ghosts, as pictured above, and I damn near started to believe him. At the same time I'm reading Henry James "Turn Of The Screw", which

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-64168632348716227342008-06-21T17:12:00.003-05:002008-06-21T17:35:13.682-05:00

So my pal is with a college degree now, but wants to be the Sexton at the Episcopal church instead of manage the cell-phony store where he just started as a sales man. You know those little store-front cell phone stores with their meager displays and nothing much to do but stand there with a co-worker and wait for a customer (who is usually coming in to down-grade). He's stuck there so I wanted

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-51377853551283546082008-06-18T16:59:00.014-05:002008-12-11T23:05:46.130-06:00

" Baseball, to me, is still the national pastime because it is a summer game. I feel that almost all Americans are summer people, that summer is what they think of when they think of their childhood. I think it stirs up an incredible emotion within people." ~Steve Busby___ ____"It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in spring, when everything else begins

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-79856540801298296942008-06-13T11:34:00.018-05:002008-12-11T23:05:46.746-06:00

I got it made this summer.Islecom, the university library consortium, extended my stay until September. They increased my work-load by 1/3rd but gave me a three day weekend.I was so happy I forgot to ask, what about a raise? I don't really care though. We're good. The gap between the rich and poor, which the New York Times often laments during Republican administrations, is finally narrowing.Last

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-80241661874117252102008-06-03T18:03:00.011-05:002008-06-06T14:56:31.584-05:00

On the upper deck, through the sliding glass doors of our kitchen, you can sit amidst the high tree tops, open a book over your chest, close your eyes and hear animals scratching a living. And birds tweet-tweet and trill and I like the tiny mallet sounds of the woodpeckers.The New Sensation is the verdure, for it was a short and sudden Spring. It awakens a strange temptation in me to lean in

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-33679429309313288842008-05-31T16:23:00.007-05:002008-12-11T23:05:46.986-06:00

My own again lowst again won't marry me to me down.She is a Memphis girl but grew up part-time/seasonable in Mississippi, where her family they say would scare the begeez out of me but I'm not afraid tho and would give up the pleasure of her company to live down south with her dad, who is my kind of guy though I am far from his kind of guy I'm sure. See, he was a professional wrestler in the

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-27700038313412717512008-05-16T15:08:00.017-05:002008-12-11T23:05:47.407-06:00

An afternoon of blue skies with the wide, white eraser marks. I'd been expecting Spring and here it was, on a weekend too.She'd washed her car and was contemplating the distinct, gravitational pleasure of the result. Then as we waited for young Kominski to come out with his baseball mitt, ball, bat and cap, we played with the new pup--a golden retriever, four months long, tall and happy.Not the

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-33675441404934591522008-05-12T16:49:00.016-05:002008-12-11T23:05:47.784-06:00

I've mentioned that I am the quiet one (in my post "Defining Quiet Down") at the university's Islecom library consortium.So it's fair to my readers to pick up the narrative where I become mildly chagrined at someone there, and then perhaps later on I'll start to brood too much, and start to see their face everywhere, like with a milk mustache on advertisement billboards (both those moving on the

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-46701192137792608352008-05-05T17:42:00.002-05:002008-05-05T17:49:36.530-05:00

(letter to Dr. Patricia)The women make the place creamy. I love it when they're in a gossip in the morning and they say "hello john!" in unison when I arrive. haha. My name is already so musical to me, you know. At 8:01 it was already a good day. My big boss, the one who is seven feet tall and has a deep radio-ready voice, is gone to a conference as usual, all week. He's impressive, I like him.He

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-9253371843474904782008-05-02T17:06:00.006-05:002008-05-04T15:43:51.570-05:00

There are six librarians and myself all separated by cubicle walls, busy at our computers, sometimes instant messaging one another with questions. It is so peaceful, my work-place is damn near inviting, like a study.Yet today when a new Other-Island arrived and there were introductions, one of the women said "Oh let's not forget John. He's the quiet one".Then we all came out to the center of the

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-6669492863908310992008-04-29T19:01:00.008-05:002008-05-01T21:41:51.522-05:00

"We'll just have to see how it goes."-dylan (too much to ask)Coltrane reminds me of my ornery Uncle Bill so much I want to ask him if he has a glass eye. Also, Uncle Bill was always good for a twenty, so my reasoning goes...Haywire, I mean. Whoever is handy now, that's how it is. Friends who saw me coming knew to ask first, and for more. Say John, you got a hundred bucks I could borrow?No, I

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-15482933138093933242008-04-20T13:21:00.009-05:002008-04-27T21:27:45.779-05:00

Springing straight up from the occasional snapping traps laid before me in daily life. Test the will, and be sub-consciously ready with the saving reflex. Leap in my new Proto Power shoes, hop bow-legged to save my balls. Jog at my steady pace while boxing my fists in the dark. And be careful not to catch a cop or robber on the chin. Or then it's trouble, Marlowe. Splints, maybe.It's what they

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-75887635210840894712008-04-19T09:45:00.004-05:002008-04-19T10:38:04.946-05:00

I've finished my first week working for Isleicom, the organization that tracks inter-library loans among all the state's college and university libraries. It's entirely computer work and much of the computer work is custodial (repairing errors in files, reporting programming bugs to programmers, etc.) I may as well be tracking used auto parts among junk-yards. The difference is that my 15

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-75352604997354607932008-04-18T19:06:00.012-05:002008-12-11T23:05:48.098-06:00

Twenty miles out of town,and cold irons bound-dylan (time out of mind)The big key was in the lock of the sky blue iron door. What now, I've got a great movie on HBO here. I didn't ask for any cigarettes, I didn't push the red emergency button on the wall for a snack.It was the Sheriff. He asked as usual how the accommodations were, and as usual he was more or less sincere, friendly."Your lawyers

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-69967349014991255162008-04-15T19:43:00.007-05:002008-12-11T23:05:48.288-06:00

I don't remember anymore, maybe I never came out of denial. When I tell the story of winning and losing her and I complain, my bitterness is phony. I'm lying.I'm more likely to smile in the dark, remembering her smiling into my eyes as I got my hands underneath her to pull her panties down her legs and off her feet.The only problem still, if it's a problem, is her spending more than ten years in

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-40500358807380401012008-04-12T13:38:00.007-05:002008-12-11T23:05:48.542-06:00

Nothing was real. My humanity was already drying up due to drink.Hair of the dog that bit me. I'd postponed a hangover for almost 15 years already._____The developers were burning down the woods next to our house, which had been on the market since my dad got sick. The ash floated down, grey snow flakes, but my dad could take it.Then one day when there was a possible buyer on the way, a bulldozer

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-21851213783031664032008-04-10T21:20:00.005-05:002008-12-11T23:05:48.885-06:00

Mariah's mother was doing the books at her gift shop at Cheekleaf when she realized she couldn't add or subtract. It was just like that.The next day we all knew she was in the hospital for tests. Mariah came out of her office under the grand staircase and was putting on her hat and coat. She stopped at Information and said it was a brain tumor. Four or five of the booksellers leaned forward over

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-33911368345354940572008-04-09T18:43:00.004-05:002008-12-11T23:05:49.055-06:00

A week after my adoption I attended my first bookstore party. Mariah and the sheriff and I were having a beer out in the atrium after work when they presumed, with a heavy-handed, scrutinizing authority, that I would be there. Of course you'll be there , right John-John?"Yes, sir. Just so long as I have time to get drunk ahead of time, fine."The general manager, Diane, came over and joined us.

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-5173567578072305152008-04-08T15:18:00.010-05:002008-12-11T23:05:49.164-06:00

Eleanor Tippins' family may have been southern aristocrats, but she had to allow that one of her cousins---Ned---was the Tennessee Governor now.An insouciant, faded, devil may care family, they'd been plundered now by her dissolute siblings. ("Easy Rider" and the 60's upset her generation, and they reformed to drug abuse, then sales). She was well-schooled, cheerful and alcoholic now. If

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-62112005703724396072008-04-05T10:33:00.020-05:002008-12-11T23:05:49.318-06:00

Something Southern was happening. An inauguration. Small bits of staging began to appear, in place for a show. Theatre in the round. Then full wall and ceiling enclosure, and gradually block the wings. Geek. What is expected of me. I'm a mule from The Music Man. It's all I know.___________There would be another new bookseller soon, after me. But her arrival would be an important social debut for

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-91291263943543199872008-04-03T10:43:00.015-05:002008-12-11T23:05:49.706-06:00

She's looking into my eyes, she's holding my hand She says, "You can't repeat the past." I say, "You can't? What do you mean, you can't? Of course you can." --Dylan (Summer Days)________Nashville all new to me. There wasn't a cloud in the sky for eight weeks, my first summer there. Cloudy days are restful, you eventually

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-2755388972311328362008-04-01T15:13:00.003-05:002008-12-11T23:05:49.819-06:00

I wore a Nicoderm patch for ten days until I couldn't stand it.There's a warning about "vivid dreams" which piqued my interest (and my enthusiasm for stopping smoking). So, I put the first one on at bedtime, hoping for some dinner theater at the Val-Aire in Des Moines or somewheres.I'm usually in the audience in my dreams. There can be all manner of madness and mayhem and it doesn't matter to me

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-56238411527950391742008-03-17T17:39:00.006-05:002008-03-26T11:25:51.143-05:00

Wheel.That was 48 hours of unpleasant suspense. Calling on The Comforter's peace two couch-nights, 3 a.m. I had the idea of making a tactical retreat to Iowa but friends ---who could think clearly, after all---knew that would be foolish. Make yourself not depressed but forlorn maybe.It's hard to see at first, the simple tasks as simple. Call another Oxford, get another home quick. That

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-77727427114926591882008-03-15T01:58:00.005-05:002008-03-26T11:24:30.574-05:00

chpt 1: Third floor (5 days)chpt 2: long term treatment (four months)chpt 3: Oxford House (28 months)dashing this off in numb denial and even shock...I've been democratically evicted from the Oxford House tonight.After being drawn into a whirl-a-gig of politics, and an amazing meeting that had four outside witnesses, two of whom bought into the shared, foggy misapprehensions and rumors I was not

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-90070699195254208822008-03-08T15:01:00.014-06:002008-12-11T23:05:50.344-06:00

Henry Hazard coasting these mean--- but presently empty--- commuter streets. List of errands to run. "Don't forget to stop at the Junior High School." Like that could possibly skip my mind. Don't forget you need to identify that body at the morgue either. They think it might be you.If I were a parent this might be fun, I could go in there with some guff.These oak trees and telephone poles won't

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-27907767837829931632008-03-03T00:11:00.003-06:002008-03-03T00:17:33.365-06:00

Bob and Ray sell "The only complete burglar kit being offered today."Direct to YouTube. 10.3 laughs in 2.5 minutes.

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-49559397655242451042008-02-28T17:53:00.003-06:002008-02-28T18:02:34.130-06:00

I've got myself a blog post that's turned into another damned novella. What to do with this, I wouldn't even read myself unless I thought there was something in it about me.February 28th. I hear we're in for a warming trend over the next eight weeks. Thank heavens.My girlfriend has a child on the way! That's news to share! Yes. He's flying in from Maryland.badabing! How was the delivery?____I

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-45144410357829596752008-02-03T11:19:00.001-06:002008-02-03T11:37:04.485-06:00

You will probably get better reception Here.This is a delight, posing moral questions to precocious, perfectly at ease children on "Juvenile Jury" (an NBC show from the 1950's).Note that six year old Billy Knight could be mistaken as a young Christopher Hitchens.First question: A boy has to wear a kilt in a school play but he is afraid kids will tease him and call him a sissy. His mother wants

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-44706424135417882002008-01-28T16:22:00.000-06:002008-02-03T19:57:20.586-06:00

Don't scoff, lots of 12-step bloggers do this everyday.Today I am thankful for:Criminal Background Checks (post 1993)My asthma. "I can't do that, I got asthma."The New Deal and The Great Society, I wasn't around to object to on conservative principles.That there is still paper money. (I can see the day coming where our debit and credit cards will also show outstanding debts. Grocery clerks will

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-46561696162293059352008-01-21T17:29:00.000-06:002008-01-25T13:56:27.156-06:00

Since I'm unemployed now I naturally wait for the phone to ring, hoping it's my girl asking me over to spend the night. Here at the Sober House I have an ornery house-mate, Chunk... He's got it in for me....He's noticed I don't work, He's leaving messages on our community board in the kitchen.He's got me by the letter of the Oxford Code: get a job or do 20 hours of volunteer work each week. "

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-77899992968632255162008-01-14T09:31:00.000-06:002008-12-11T23:05:51.306-06:00

I'm writing a revenge novel. I've got two pages so far, and they're good, but we only broke up yesterday and will probably reconcile. I guess I'll keep at it though. The relationship isn't even stormy but I don't let go of resentments. Man, for a shallow guy I can be deeply ticked.____Yesterday morning I dropped James off at his poor Negro church in the factory area of town, and then

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-81819778891249913492008-01-11T09:25:00.000-06:002008-12-11T23:05:51.488-06:00

I appealled the unemployment decision.The telephone hearing was on a Friday. That Monday I had the written decision. The very next day there was a neat pile of stubbed envelopes waiting for me on the dining room table and the junkies, drunks and ex-cons I live with---the Semper Sci-Fi, the steamer, the head-Ubangi, and Chunk--- were all scratching thier whiskey beards as I made my way

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-19698044014300260232008-01-04T22:26:00.000-06:002008-12-11T23:05:51.597-06:00

I know some women have their special, nice way of being mean to one another, but I'm rarely a witness. I always walk in late,As Charlie Brown laments, with his forehead scribbled, "I never know what's going on".That's a complaint dating back ---naturally---to childhood.Katie and Christian and I were in Recieving, unpacking and sorting a new shipment of books. There were five or six booksellers

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-60911904300363694312008-01-01T21:41:00.000-06:002008-01-05T14:38:01.956-06:00

I enjoyed the recollection of this past year. Someone said if we remembered pain, women wouldn't ever give birth a second time. Worry and frustration are a part of my nature, it's day to day, oh I am a wounded animal, a 'man of constant sorrows', my knitted brow, my unconscious scowl. Then I look back and those were good times, even miraculous times, in my third year of sobriety.What did you

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-23653275290791493022007-12-25T09:48:00.000-06:002007-12-26T21:32:05.346-06:00

john: have you ever had flannel bed sheets? is that a good thing?Mimi: oh yeah, but don't wear flannel jammies with flannel sheetsMimi: they act like velcrojohn: reallyMimi: oh yeahjohn: that's funnyjohn: ho ho hoMimi: yeah, you end up with your jammies on backward

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-65854111109140560692007-12-19T21:31:00.001-06:002008-12-11T23:05:52.416-06:00

Everyone has to work. Some of us mall-workers are easily overwhelmed and we have to watch where we're going. Gargoyle urchin angel: one of those kids who took a chance on the merry-go-round and didn't make it.The carosel inside the mall is very shiny and new but holds to tradition. Everything old was new once, after all. Yes, the traditional craftsmanship is gone but whose eyes are trained so

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-74350947051383222922007-12-15T17:34:00.001-06:002008-12-11T23:05:52.837-06:00

1999--In the mail today---So I have a niece in Nashville and she looks just like my mom, to her eye-teeth. She is my only niece; nephews are a dime a dozen in our family. Come to think of it, boys are a dime a dozen in most generations of my family. So I stared in disbelief, unlike when she was an infant.

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-48793962580643531202007-12-13T17:03:00.000-06:002007-12-13T17:36:27.196-06:00

Who knew Dick Cavett has a blog?The last two posts concern the Gore Vidal/Norman Mailer showdown, which occurred on his show when I was 11 and not allowed to watch. It's great, insider stuff, with a link to some of the surprisingly vivid video that 1970's week-night.But I want to pass along this spirited defense/ analysis of what happened to Don Imus, and the sort of people who helped it "happen.

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-32505043452377388552007-12-04T06:22:00.000-06:002007-12-07T18:56:18.466-06:00

I've forgotten why, but it's traditional here for me to make note when anyone blogs about shoes. Ask Ma Kettle or Anonydoc, they used to hijack my comment-section with their discussions on fashion, then I threw in the pail. So here is one from Sondra.Also, I want to share some enjoyably cruel lit-crit from Dalrymple. It's via Kurp, who writes: "In the early nineteen-seventies young women who

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-903425956650237972007-12-03T17:13:00.000-06:002008-12-11T23:05:52.995-06:00

The government psychologist in charge of Fraud Pre-evaluation for Medicaid applicants has his office in the old, gargantuan and abandoned drivers license building on Worley-Worley Street. This was to have been remodeled but some kind soul finally realized a shopping mall would be a nicer location for everyone.His office was in a far, far corner. Most of the tile ceiling was removed so you could

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-59949794437462556432007-12-01T06:58:00.000-06:002008-12-11T23:05:53.282-06:00

I got to the club at noon, which is early, and was just settling down in one of the brown, tufted leather wing chairs to read one of my new books, "Teaching Reading For Dummies". My AA maestro stepped up. "Giovanni!", he exclaimed, happy to see me evidently. "Did you get behind the lines?" I told him no, that I didn't get the left-wing think-tank job after all. He said do you suppose it's

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-57729023225731900262007-11-28T16:07:00.000-06:002007-11-28T19:48:12.340-06:00

I didn't get the Year Zero Data Manager job. Not sure how I feel about it now. I got a lot of practice at tests and interviews... almost put one over, very close! But damn.So I am at the bookstore and I start as a wandering cleric at the University on Monday. Two jobs, hahaha. :-|I am a mystery to myself, no longer the drunkard.Anyway, my sobriety turned me Republican but losing the cold war

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-12237953261213891942007-11-25T12:09:00.000-06:002007-12-06T23:07:51.004-06:00

Back to blogging basics, these last couple of weeks.I worked on "Lilly Of Glaxo", "Mr. Winrick", and "Step Cousins".I know it was 'work' because all three were set aside and published unfinished. If I had a boss he'd write me up; if I had a coach he'd say I don't follow through.Deliberate writing as opposed to 'blogging' (let's rename it 'scrolling', why don't we?) is engrossing and can be

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-22339523523841034612007-11-21T21:36:00.000-06:002007-11-21T22:58:08.784-06:00

Tomorrow I'm going to say to one of the older Kettle kids: "Do you know what I always hated about these holiday get-togethers? It's having to put up with the questions people ask, like how school or work is going. Having to be prepared to answer all those questions. The large talk instead of the small talk. Maybe the small talk is worse. Geez..."And then of course I'll proceed to query. At least

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-13899426058101260102007-11-19T15:24:00.000-06:002007-11-19T16:49:15.799-06:00

Heaven. It's already heaven. I'm a bookseller again. She even looks like Her, so I can look at her face and realize what it was about Her. Do you know what I mean? Not that I could in anyway, you know...Never. I'm heels over head with the one I'm supposed to be with but this is mystical and The tube-sock heiress of Nashville will always be with me. There's no shaking that ghost.that's how it

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-17537229326660691482007-11-18T22:44:00.000-06:002007-11-18T22:57:58.961-06:00

I'm home from my first night at the bookstore I'll call "Borders". It's been ten years. For ten years I was a bookseller, and when I was killed in 1997 it almost terminated me. I dreamed for weeks and weeks that they'd call me back. Fellow booksellers were outraged (some were) and one supervisor tried her best to make my dream come true. To wake up and miss the place so awfully surprised me: I

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-58104785042388490952007-11-16T15:31:00.000-06:002008-12-11T23:05:53.499-06:00

Some poor fellow at the club got his left hand lopped off and we don't know what happened, how or why. One day he shows up with a bandaged stump but otherwise fit as a fiddle. Maybe it was diabetes but no one seems to know. How do you ask? When someone hurts their hand, you ask "What happened to your hand?" But not in this case. ___I lost my job. It was due to too many shenanigans: I had the

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-5954966708410485992007-11-09T08:46:00.000-06:002008-12-11T23:05:53.741-06:00

Our sober house is unstable for awhile. We're full. No vacancies, just as it should be, and it's been two weeks. When the seventh and last bed is full, someone is going to flip out. Usually the new-comer. But maybe not this time. There's one man--- from one of those Brigadoon-like, maybe ephemeral hillbilly towns---whom I suspect is not an alcoholic or a junkie. Maybe he wanted a sure way out of

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-90614431675984932262007-10-20T10:42:00.001-05:002008-05-07T20:20:41.784-05:00

I'd known about Rusty's girlfriend and the landlord for a couple of weeks.Kelderman told me while laughing his har-har pirate laugh. He wasn't laughing at Rusty, I'm sure, but at people in general, cheating one another: the surprise double-cross, the pretended innocence, the hypocritical revenge that may follow. All this gave the hopeless old drunk sudden, wheezy fits of laughter.Kelderman was

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-30360763264621344172007-10-05T06:46:00.000-05:002008-12-11T23:05:54.306-06:00

Luke 4 [20] And He closed the book, and He gave it again to the minister, and sat down. [KJV]When Mr. Winrick still worked at the bank he persuaded my dad to open a Buick dealership in Oakapolohka, although a previous venture had failed.I was five, six or seven and all I remember is Dad bringing home a new car every night. Jerry and David waited for him to arrive at dinner time. Gazing out

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-610573993596817612007-09-02T19:46:00.000-05:002008-12-11T23:05:54.853-06:00

I first became aware of Lilly's presence at the Dead End Club in June, the first week of the Twilight Festival, and the seventh week since I began taking the anti-depressant SNRI Cymbalta.She was sitting far across the meeting room and I became transfixed, certain that I knew her from somewhere long ago. When I traced back for the memory, my mind returned with broken images, like I'd gone far

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-64173036388342517012007-08-01T18:35:00.000-05:002007-08-01T18:42:41.875-05:00

Via Mr. Kurp at Anecdotal Evidence, here is a quote from the ever more admired doctor/ essayist known as Theodore Dalrymple.“Thanks to the fact that I write, my life is satisfactory: I can inhabit gloom and live in joy. When something unpleasant happens to me, provided only that is potentially of literary use, my first thought is ‘How best can I describe this?’ I thereby distance myself from my

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-83080870212096420452007-08-01T18:23:00.000-05:002007-08-01T18:29:38.044-05:00

Liquid Illuzions is a bountiful, frequently beautiful photography blog from Mississippi. You should visit often (it's there in my sidebar). But this picture just had me laughing and smiling and laughing again as I imagined the story behind it becoming a part of the family folk-lore there...

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-2261914101533498612007-07-30T16:25:00.000-05:002007-07-30T21:11:53.729-05:00

"...much of life presents itself as the same dilemma: how to seem lusty and purposeful when less than nothing is going on." --VonnegutAnd so (he wrote)the next monday:Can we walk in the shade, I asked. Honey ...That wasn't the end Friday night.When I thought the next morning would be like a waking nightmare, it turned out to be the best part of the high.The danger seemed to have passed, I felt

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-33545613339965132722007-07-29T18:09:00.000-05:002007-07-29T18:11:40.251-05:00

A statue of limitations has to be scaffolded andnoA statute of limitations must pass before my next post. I expect this to be within a matter of days weeks or years so please tune in everyday. Thank you.

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-15763504995551980482007-07-05T10:44:00.000-05:002007-07-10T18:42:22.449-05:00

I notice the new drug, though it's early yet for an anti-depressant.Some supple ballooning , a harmless inhaling and exhaling like an aneurysm... in the neural pathways... mediating reward.,,,A new thought! a novel feeling, rises and perishes."Capable of withstanding stress without injury," translatedas a swelling of my heart.I think it's my imagination rigged with hope.____Rising from bed I

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-77802948111320094342007-07-03T18:08:00.000-05:002007-07-08T11:13:49.046-05:00

Our monastic dorter can keep six men sober but never a seventh. This week the role of Marginal LikeliHood is being played by a heroin addict (H.A.)I want to admit to my prejudices against this fellow, H.A. right off.H.A. is a narco-hipster. He is cool, of the too cool for suburban school, school. I've never met anyone with such ironic and calm self-possession and inappropriate forward

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-42089186476394807792007-06-25T10:19:00.001-05:002007-07-08T11:13:22.915-05:00

The temptation had been so strong this time I was shook up. Then when I shook it off I went to my friend, to confront her."Do you know that in your life one bad turn is going to be fatal?""It's God and it's prayer when I'm alone," she said."Are you talking to your sponsor?" I demanded."She's learning to be a yogi. She's down in Mexico for six weeks learning to be a yogi!""Because listen, there's

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-21577294089662015992007-06-20T19:21:00.000-05:002007-06-22T06:39:29.311-05:00

Take this right on Country Lane, (curb-stone 1948, well-kept lawns and respectable grandmotherly houses) (it goes only one block, Country Lane)--- then left on Worley-Worley (the drive-by street, dangerous even in daylight) seven blocks, a right turn, a u-turn on Mexican Gravel Road (leads to Mexico, Mo.) since I drove too far on Worley-Worley. Back one block to the Oak Wilt apartments, left, (

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-43870628430198600392007-06-11T16:14:00.000-05:002007-06-21T22:46:57.001-05:00

This morning I woke up as if I'd been worked over all night by the most exacting demon surgeons that my subconscious could conjure up. I became conscious, or came to, a little bit ahead of my simple hopes for the day and I wondered, before opening my eyes, is this all there is, and then hell? I imagined myself on a flat dusty plain, overlooking a bluff that looked down into foggy swirls of white,

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-52115735272097083082007-06-10T10:26:00.000-05:002007-06-11T21:34:22.076-05:00

It was time for another six month employee review. I had no idea.Big Mike, the supe I'll be calling Irving from now on, motioned for me come down off the main feed. I removed my earplugs and then he thumb-signaled over his shoulder, "Joe's back there--he's got your appraisal." I walked to the office, where the slim venician blinds, neat and gray, were drawn tight. For some reason I wanted to

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-37029993124757137652007-06-09T17:19:00.000-05:002008-12-11T23:05:57.756-06:00

(click to see)I got in line to one of my parties but then gave it up, realizing, "I don't know these people. Not really."This is where I used to test-drive martinis with ...no, she'd kill me if I let on. I have pics of Renee taking pictures. She must have some of me taking pictures too.The 'gates. That's Stinky on bass. I liked greeting him "Hiya Stinky!" because he is always calling me "

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-18833497229483097412007-06-05T15:17:00.000-05:002007-06-07T21:44:03.587-05:00

We were reading the newspaper under a street-light at the Country Kitchen on Pittosporum Drive, out near the interstate mixmaster. It was a quarter after ten, a warm week-night in this spare neighborhood of bright-lighted, dazzlingly colored signs over darkened businesses. "Police were called just after 1:30 a.m. Saturday to a disturbance at the Break Time at 1000 Quaking Aspin Lane, where about

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-18637337503322966542007-06-04T10:25:00.000-05:002007-06-05T15:15:35.712-05:00

I turned it all over to God. A day passed and ! >:- ((I realized I had nothing to write. So now I've taken it all back again and I'm very troubled about Thursday next, say.The calm I'd achieved was novel but nothing. I spent Saturday at work, with the nice spongy earplugs in place, so every sound was as if underwater. A magical solitude then, amongst the newspaper factory workers, with all the

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-17996473777822096602007-05-30T18:58:00.000-05:002007-05-31T19:49:08.963-05:00

I read a sermon in the NyTimes today, one of those full-page, warning:weird font, warning: Korean writer possibly Moonie, "Why do the heathen rage?" style, paid features you may remember from your small town paper.I've been feeling very powerless lately, losing to this rebellion of emotions --- and holy crap that diabolical fiend/nemisis Dr. Hashimoto, who is always pulling my leg--- so I suppose

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-40112351605208810782007-05-28T21:56:00.000-05:002007-05-28T21:59:07.426-05:00

I can never forget because all my life I've left so much half finished.

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-21469644491315784842007-05-26T14:57:00.000-05:002007-05-27T18:40:42.332-05:00

When I first came here--- I think it was after about a year--- I turned 23 and flipped my lid.I had this life-loving mania fueling me into being very nearly improvisational. I couldn't sleep for days and maybe more than a week, or even ten days, all the while drinking too. I wrote, I wrote like this probably, though I'm far from manic now. And I visited friends, established friends and new

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-75147691553440163022007-05-25T12:44:00.000-05:002007-05-25T21:54:03.879-05:00

My unspoken thoughts felt surreptitious. I was innocent but conscious of guilt and ever fearful of discovery when I was that age.I would hear about her second hand, and listen intently, bi-polar, with hope and a sense of dream-like helplessness. I remember overhearing she would arrive with three other women from Dutch Elm, and then later seeing the car coming down the gravel park road and, when

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-7283542961581745682007-05-18T15:38:00.000-05:002007-05-20T20:20:55.247-05:00

School's out with a doctor's excuse,it being May and my needing to be in some critical care unit for a full battery of...well, for a full battery. I have a wild blood stream due to miscalculated synthetic thyroid.Or! It might be too much too much coffee coffee.Actually, the Newspaper Factory is out, what am I talking, school... she's just a brick metaphor for the pile of bricks you always hope

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-60090584988751154242007-05-17T09:26:00.000-05:002007-05-17T15:45:12.007-05:00

Suppose the world were so small you could walk its horizons, and there were many people but not so numerous there were complete strangers.A world of fairly close trees, sparse forests, small falling waters, and grassy clearings or meadows, with animals that cower or low. Other animals friendly, even companionable... and then the stand-offish and amusing ones, up in the limbs of the trees, acting

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-47514030161615598602007-05-13T14:12:00.000-05:002007-05-13T16:33:48.447-05:00

It's nearly two years now.A holiday weekend at the mental hospital, four months at The Last Word, and now a year and a half in a Sober House.I knew they'd got me good, the day the special yellow-shirted deputy arrived. Not only was I broke, I couldn't work anymore. All my things in this efficiency apartment, oh my god, what would happen to my computer, my papers, my books? It was the end.People

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-25553288098333636322007-05-09T15:57:00.000-05:002007-05-09T17:08:13.834-05:00

Listening to the grateful recovering alcohol-addicts makes me wonder why I am not so happy to be saved.I know they are sincere, especially these hard-core losers who have stayed sober for years and are now effusive, winning, and touchingly emotional. Even several of the younger people are convincing, those who really understand that they were going to die or go to prison.Maybe I never really

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-26468132323241431842007-05-02T20:20:00.000-05:002007-05-03T18:23:44.504-05:00

5:45 a.m. this first day of May, not light yet...Kitchen window wide open breathing Spring and Shang-ri-la. Say, yeah. It goes outside to the whole wide world, air, land and sea.The temperature right now is 'no temperature', to me.All the chairs are broken except this one. It still has the foam backing in its metal frame.Lean back and light this smoke and recollect. Dylan sings "I am hanging in

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-28602914527013159432007-04-26T10:52:00.000-05:002007-04-26T17:24:07.849-05:00

The house has a new actor playing Marginal Liklihood, and I like him. He's laid-back, composed, tranquil, serene...well, when you boil it down I guess "medicated" is the word you want. Sort of like So Long Stan, whom I also like, you know. I guess if M.L. is drugged and like this, then I don't have to be drugged. I can stop the Seroquel, I started just two days ago.Stan is from prison too but

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-6680253442692940092007-04-24T17:42:00.000-05:002007-04-24T18:58:11.303-05:00

What proceeds my suddenly remembering to take a pill? These are Klonopin (nerve-soothers) and I take three a day but never like a part of my ablutions, never because I've looked at the clock. So, I always find it half-ways kinda funny when suddenly it hits me: take a pill.Some thinking makes it so. Some ruminating; maybe if you saw me you'd note I was starting to glower. Those two horizontal

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-55443470662482633282007-04-22T16:21:00.000-05:002007-04-23T10:05:28.286-05:00

She woke from her nap, stretching her arms, pressing her chin down to her shirt. Mouthing a clown frown.Yawn.She relaxed into that second stage of wakefulness she has: elbows and knees out, up, in close, far flung. Her eyes opened to the near distance and her right hand twirled a lock of her long curly dark hair, patterned on the pillow.The back of her fingers resting now over her parted lips

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-9957093658058816972007-04-12T21:25:00.000-05:002007-04-12T21:27:38.457-05:00

"Come and get me, copper!" someone wrote about the current P.C. controversy.____Now CBS has dropped the old con-man too. I can’t wait for Maureen Dowd, a frequent Imus guest, to write about her attitude toward Imus.He came on in 96. It was odd for that genre of radio to be on TV, it brought the anger of the Bronx to the mainstream, I thought. And only now, the idiots are acting surprised that it

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-64121340156908204302007-04-08T10:39:00.000-05:002008-12-11T23:05:59.053-06:00

I always disapproved of Primatene for cornering the market. Maybe a competitor wouldn't clog up so easily. An obvious improvement would be to sell it without the opaque coating, which prevents your seeing how much medicine you have left. Of course it's scary, the prospect it might get clogged, or ---surprise!--- in the middle of the night you discover it's empty.But you thank heavens it exists.

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-87195363008402682242007-04-06T18:26:00.000-05:002007-04-06T21:27:10.030-05:00

Here, we talk so much of mental illness rather than life.What's gone haywire, who has lost their reasoning, the unlikely tragic (that in retrospect ___); our forgotten original projects. We exchange ideas about how to cope with the fearsome zealotry of our day and age; we discuss crime, illiteracy, head injuries.If we talked of life, we would discuss everything that is progressing or unfolding

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-15923232368185900872007-04-05T10:33:00.000-05:002008-12-11T23:05:59.334-06:00

I took this home, back when, --- on one of those endless, decaying days when I was the drunken uncle, and Ma Kettle had the kids praying for me. At the time I felt merely flattered, or even morosely proud, that a child had decorated my name and this was mine and I could hang it on my wall. Now I am still a shallow man but maybe not so much, almost two years sober. Now it rightly unsettles me

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-3627378254867558352007-03-31T21:27:00.000-05:002008-12-11T23:05:59.527-06:00

Spring seems early but it will frequently leave and stay out late. (Then you stay up waiting for her and wonder, why don't I worry like this when she's away at school?) This morning I was on the phone to my mother and looking out the window. I exclaimed, "Mom, I just saw my first cardinal of Spring!""Oh, honey, " she didn't laugh but sounded amused, "cardinals don't go away for the winter."I

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-86166351084260526742007-03-29T19:38:00.000-05:002007-03-29T19:46:32.876-05:00

Via Right-Wing Bob , by way of The Associated Press, "Academics gather in Minnesota to deconstruct Dylan".“I should think people need to explain themselves if they’re NOT intrigued, enthralled and obsessed with Dylan. Those of us who are, we don’t have any explaining to do.” -Christopher Ricks, a 73-year-old professor of poetry at Oxford University.(title suggested by exclamation mark, btw.)

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-49422006949862922172007-03-29T10:13:00.000-05:002008-12-11T23:05:59.696-06:00

Accompanying her this afternoon through all these suburban buildings in search of the right clinic. Around this corner, over this pine-needled ground is the Blue team building. We pass through, not sure where we're supposed to be. Green team, Gold team? Where's the magenta gang, so frequently maligned.Take a left, back outside, along the side of the building, two steps down, right, right door.In

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-90507587735630519162007-03-25T16:24:00.000-05:002008-12-11T23:06:00.303-06:00

I put this Renee photograph on my desktop for a week, thinking now what the hell is that? Did she superimpose a bright hand painted drawing or some clip art onto a photograph?Best to click on the picture to see what I mean...On my monitor this looks like thin, cut paper. The lines on the leaves look pencil drawn (but almost too perfect).The color looked impossible, on my monitor anyway. A

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-41092075300005547302007-03-24T20:36:00.000-05:002008-12-11T23:06:00.870-06:00

It's in the spotlessly clean, time-abandoned kitchen of one of the churches where I attend A.A. meetings.I'd forgotten this brand of Coke.Haha. Why don't you laugh, son? That's a regional joke, everyone calls pop "Coke" down south."Make My Coke A Teem!"_____Except for old model trains, which need to be shiny as the day they were left under the Christmas tree, immaculate relics are, to my vandal

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-39425373133503119742007-03-22T19:17:00.000-05:002008-12-11T23:06:01.032-06:00

Anonydoc---I want to say my Anonydoc, since I feel possessive---is overseas for a fortnight. In London this week, she has telegraphed daily in an effort that I might fathom it all. L'il Nell is indeed dead, for instance, Fleet street turns out no news but only what her concierge calls "shocking stories"( he will only give her The Times or Telegraph, although she protested, saying something

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-70204540796782461192007-03-20T16:04:00.000-05:002008-12-11T23:06:02.004-06:00

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-32367278191104382972007-03-19T22:18:00.000-05:002008-12-11T23:06:02.157-06:00

We can't decide what we like best about the new map.

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-13197155634025745702007-03-18T13:34:00.000-05:002008-12-11T23:06:02.351-06:00

I haven't told you, but maybe you have heard,that the Prior of our dorterhas allowed me a Good Night Nurse__This is while I am struggling with alcoholism and drug addiction, and trying to write a novel and avoid any kind of labor. The Prior (he is new) is very anxious I "chill out, dude" because I am disruptive and known as "contrarian" at our Monastic meetings.I call her Scrubs.She's a very

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-52864148320675816012007-03-16T16:57:00.000-05:002008-12-11T23:06:02.625-06:00

When I was wealthy for three months, I had a blog I called "Spin Whistle". It can be found degrading in the Wayback Machine. All the quote marks and apostrophes are now replaced by '?' marks.Man, I was bombed. But well dressed."standin' on the gallows with my head in the noose,any minute now expecting all hell to break loose"---dylan, natch...The blog makes cross-eyed sense only. It's a

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-45099816794559883102007-03-15T16:01:00.000-05:002007-03-15T16:17:15.085-05:00

I was in the mall, about to walk up the grand stairs to my apartment, when who should appear but Rory Place and this new girlfriend of his (the one with the small yellow neon tattoo on her shoulder).We played army a lot when we were kids and he's still in his brown, World War Two style, five-star general helmet. What a glad-handing bore he is. What a neighbor. Always so earnestly happy to see me

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-72178879935560552452007-03-11T13:58:00.000-05:002008-12-11T23:06:03.399-06:00

I was ten blocks away, assembling the Sunday New York Times during the anti-"Jew Communist" march in Colobocomo. Now and then I'd step out for a smoke and see if there was smoke rising behind the grand old Tigger Hotel (it's big red letters on top restored to their 1948 glory).My last theory about this strange day was that the march was a diversion for a Great Robbery. But it was not to be.Our

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-26060754498547030602007-03-09T16:34:00.000-06:002007-03-09T18:38:29.962-06:00

Some wise guy played a really devilish prank on our little college town a couple of weeks ago: he asked for and recieved a permit for 20 to 50 Nazis to parade downtown (adjacent to campus) this weekend.He alledged his group was the "fastest growing" National Socialist group in America, and promised that they would be dressed in full Nazi regalia, including bright red flags with swaztikas, arms

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-62229964087511713022007-03-07T23:59:00.000-06:002007-03-08T16:23:46.938-06:00

The day split in two and both halves fell out of my hands. I told a friend an hour ago that I was sleepy, and I was, so after saying goodnight I shut off the light, got into the sheets under the quilts and... began listening to a busy talk radio station in Los Angeles.It might as well be the alternative universe, L.A. It is so familiar, but as mirror- reversed as England.I visited L.A. in 1988

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-40638025455639379552007-03-07T18:12:00.000-06:002007-03-07T18:29:35.459-06:00

you shoot an arrow straight up and it doesn't come back down, you think God must be making a gentle joke, with some disapproval, and maybe you can have it back after you've finished (and have learned how to behave).(is how i see it at three and one quarter hours.)My very self you knew; my bones were not hidden from you,When I was being made in secret Psalms 139:14, 15

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20706263.post-78165293579536130072007-03-04T13:42:00.000-06:002007-03-04T19:16:41.553-06:00

Alarm at the foot of my bed, I woke up and got up on my feet like striding out of my dreams. I got my trousers on and went to the kitchen, forgetting my eye glasses (I thought that was sleep in my eyes). I started a pot of coffee then sat down and had a holy smoke, while holding a palm sized Gideons' Bible." 1: LORD, thou hast been our dwelling place in all generations. 2: Before the

Jacksonnoreply@blogger.com3