"a benign but mischievous creature - very fond of rumpots, crackpots, and how are you, Mr. Wilson?"

My Phooka has left me again, and is now chumming along with some girl reporter, so she can be written about in the local paper.

"A lot of us would recognize I Like Your Hat! as the woman who works most days in the Dollar General checkout line, standing at the cash register behind a stainless-steel counter and ringing up the purchases of customers who’ve just run a gantlet of last-second temptations: pens, magazines, gum and the kinds of candy packaged so perfectly that children can’t resist begging parents for it.

Shopping can be stressful, but I Like Your Hat! does her best to make it a pleasant experience for her customers. Her hellos, thank-yous and goodbyes are sincere. Still, there’s a tired tone in her voice, reinforced by the shadows circling her eyes, that belies her enthusiasm.

That’s because I Like Your Hat! works hard — and not just at Dollar General. There’s a good chance you’ll also see her ringing up the register at Break Time convenience store just a couple of blocks down Hobgoblin Drive. She splits most of her days between the two jobs, trying to make ends meet.

Since May, Dollar General has paid I Like Your Hat! $6 an hour, but it cut her from 40 hours a week to 25 or less.

“I took a second job because I can’t pay the bills at $6 an hour,” she said.

Break Time pays I Like Your Hat! $7 an hour for 25 hours or more per week. While it boosts her average wage to about $6.50, it also has her working 50-plus hours. It’s easily enough labor to keep her exhausted but brings barely enough money to cover rent, utilities and groceries for her family. "

Now that's accomplished, perhaps she will come back to me. I mean, if she says "I beg your pardon" and everything, I'll let her come back.

Oh, I miss you, sprite. We laugh at the same jokes. We hate the same people! and that means a lot! The world goes dark when you're gone, and I become jealous.

I prefer you, Fauna. Dont' you prefer me?

A job? You...think I should work more than...Well, yes I can understand your point of view. ...
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That reporter is mixed up. You told me you paid THEM so you could have some sport catching inside embezzlers and discouraging shoplifters. I'm confused, as usual.

No, we're against raising the minimum wage. I'll try to explain...when you come back.
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UPDATE! She politely disagrees!