Newspaper Muckraker

I'm shocked, shocked I tell you, that the circulation department resents the orthodoxy I've brought to my new job in charge of returns.

EEEEE, I am going to have fun with this. Except maybe for the thuggery. If something happens to me, it's CIRC that did it.

Right now I'm tired. Earlier I was excited to tell you all about the problem, but it's rather dry. To put it simply, there is supposed to be a wall of seperation between CIRC and Returns (me). You don't give your manifest to CIRC, but to me. If you phone in your return numbers, you don't mail the mastheads to CIRC, but to yours truly.

My predecesor was shy about these matters. Didn't in all her five years even go over and say hello to the CIRC crew, who are right next door. Her idea of "seperation" amounted to collusion. No questions asked.

And there will be no more of this business of presenting return forms for my intials unless I see the farking newspapers. Esp. the Sunday returns. True, I can't count them all, but that's a lot of nerve saying you had 118 and dropped them off at your local recycler.

I have an ally, I'm becoming fast friends with, I'll call Dork (because he's so happy go lucky and smart and wears glasses...wait, maybe I should think of a nicer name.)

Dorks tried over the last two years to correct the situation but was told finally to drop it. We don't want to insult anyone. But Dork is in CIRC, and it was a CIRC boss who dismissed his concerns.

Maybe there are no shenanigans. I don't really care. I just want to mix it up with whomever is refusing to go by established, written procedures (which serve an obvious purpose: to prevent fraud against the paper and fraud against our advertisers.)

As I write this, I still haven't approached my boss. He's got a clue, and I think would naturally anticipate that having a new person in charge might open a can of worms. The solution is pretty simple, and it will mean more work for me, which means I'll look good and this will hasten my ascent to being Citizen Kane's valet or something.

THAT, you know, is my original project. Get close to the 80 year old publisher and elbow his heirs out. And start writing the daily editorial. And not have to work.

I see an opening. Will proceed cautiously.

A good day.